The Honor Code
““Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.””
Ephesians 6:2-3 NLT
The Honor Code
The second virtue we need to cultivate in our children is Honor. God wants to restore honor in the nations and the body of Christ, however our family units have a pivotal role to play.
The traditional parenting approach which is prevalent in many African cultures, often relied on fear to instill respect. However, this method has given way to a more permissive style, where children interact with parents with excessive familiarity.
So, what is true honor? According to the dictionary, honor means holding someone in high respect and great esteem. While honor is an inward attitude of respect, courtesy and reverence, it should be accompanied by prompt obedience. Honor without obedience is only lip service (Isaiah 29:13). God is honored when people do the things that please him (1 Corinthians 6:20). Are we losing the essence of honor in modern parenting?
How can we foster genuine honor in our children?
We model, teach and encourage the practice of honor as follows:
At Home
▶️Obeying parents and caregivers
▶️ Respecting boundaries and rules
▶️ Helping with household chores
▶️ Showing appreciation for meals and provisions
▶️ Using respectful language and tone
In Public
▶️ Showing respect to teachers, coaches and authority figures
▶️ Using good manners (e.g please, thank you, excuse me)
▶️ Being kind to others (e.g. sharing and helping)
▶️ Participating in community service
▶️ Representing their family positively
In Relationships
▶️ Respecting siblings and peers
▶️ Being inclusive and friendly
▶️ Listening actively and responding thoughtfully
▶️ Apologizing when wrong
▶️ Showing empathy and compassion
Spiritually
▶️ Honoring God through prayer and worship (teaching the appropriate conduct befitting the King in God’s presence)
▶️ Studying scripture and applying biblical values
▶️ Participating in church or faith-based activities
▶️ Sharing faith with others
▶️ Showing gratitude for blessings
Verbally
▶️ Using respectful language
▶️ Expressing gratitude verbally
▶️ Giving compliments
▶️ Encouraging others
▶️ Apologizing when wrong
Non-Verbally
▶️ Making eye contact
▶️ Using open and respectful body language
▶️ Smiling and showing kindness
▶️ Offering help
▶️ Showing interest in others
These are becoming rare in our societies, as parents raising godly children we must uphold these as behavioral standards in our homes for both parents and children.
Teaching our children to honor God, their parents and those deserving it helps them to develop the following:
▶️ Respect
▶️ Empathy
▶️ Responsibility
▶️ Gratitude
▶️ Humility
▶️ Strong relationships
▶️ Good character
▶️ Spiritual growth
These are virtues that will help make them stand out in the world and cause them to be the light. They will also be fulfilling the covenant of God for long and fulfilled lives. I’m sure we all want these for ourselves and children, then let us and our children live daily by the honor code towards God and humanity.
Biblical References
1. Exodus 20:12
2. Ephesians 6:1-3
3. 1 Peter 2:17
4. Proverbs 22:6
5. Matthew 22:37-40
