I was forced to have the sex talk with my daughters around ages 6 & 7 when I’d planned to wait till about age 10 because I suddenly realized that they already had some idea about what sex was during a conversation.
Society wasn’t sparing them what I was shielding them from, so I might as well gain the advantage of ‘first mention’ in order to give them the right perception.
Today’s world demands that you don’t wait too long before having certain conversations with your children because the rate at which information is released and circulated is with such speed that if you’re not careful you won’t be able to keep up with what your children are being exposed to daily.
The holidays are here and fast approaching an end, this is therefore a good time to check in with your children and wards to really get to know what they’ve been up to and have those deep conversations.
From research some of the things we should discuss with our youngsters even from early pre-teens are:
- Drug abuse and addiction – some kids are already aware of the potential of recreational drug use such that regular medications used at home can be abused by kids to get ‘high’ or for some kind of academic performance enhancements. Please find out what they know already. Don’t be an ignorant parent, be educated on possibilities with these children and find out what they’re being exposed to by friends and peers in school. You’ll only truly get information from them by asking direct questions from a place of genuine concern and un-judgmental love. Also, you want to be armed with adequate and superior information before starting such conversations. You may want to read my blog post on dealing with addiction.
- Pornography – children will naturally grow some curiosity about sex as they mature, this is normal. However, what’s abnormal and an extreme expression of sexual curiosity is pornography addiction. Addiction to pornography stems from visuals and oftentimes, it takes one very vivid exposure to nudity/sexual scenes and easy access to get a child hooked. Almost every visual in our world seems to have some form of sexual connotations; sadly note that even cartoons that are meant to be safe for kids to watch are not being spared. Easy access to the internet and smartphones also make our children vulnerable. Therefore it’s time to know what they know and takes it from there.
- Bullying – Bullying amongst kids is very rampant and dangerous. Your child may fall into either of these categories: a bully, the bullied, or a bystander. It’s important to observe, probe, and find out where he’s playing. According to an article powered by the American Academy of Pediatrics, there are 3 types of bullying.
- Physical—hitting, kicking, pushing, choking, punching
- Verbal—threatening, taunting, teasing, hate speech
- Social—excluding victims from activities or starting rumors about them.
Talk With Your Child About Bullying. Even if you don’t think your child is bullied, a bully, or a bystander, you will be helping to protect your child just by asking these questions:
- “How are things going at school?”
- “What do you think of the other kids in your class?”
- “Does anyone get picked on or bullied?”
4. Depression – It’s important to be able to differentiate between Angst and Depression. Angst might have to do with hormonal changes and adaptations, depression is clinical and require serious medical attention. You might want to read my blog post on depression and do some research on Angst. Then have that conversation with your child.
Then teach them how to deal and if your child happens to be the bully, take it seriously and help her child change her behavior now because if the child continues into adulthood as a bully, she might not live a successful life.
5. Peer pressure – naturally there’s a certain degree of influence on your child by his peers. It could be positive in terms of friendship, positive examples, and inspiration; feedback & advice; socializing or new experiences. However, the other leg of it is the negative pressure to fit in by engaging in what they’re not comfortable with just to be accepted by their peers. You might want to find out now how much pressure your child is presently under from their peers and help them to deal with it.
Please I’ll like to know what you discover, do kindly send me your thoughts and if you’ve found this useful, please refer others here.
Thank you and God bless!
