My husband & I on our way from work yesterday decided to take a detour to buy pizza for the family (my kids love it & it’s been a while), so I found a seat while he went to make our orders, then came to my table was this fair-skinned tall & slim young lady with a large box of pizza, a smaller box of chicken nuggets and a fizzy drink. She placed all these on my table, sat, and began to eat.
Initially, I wasn’t concerned about her until she started devouring the pizza all by herself, what attracted me most was the angry look on her face. In my house, because we love pizza and eat it with so much relish, this was strange to me as I’ve never ever seen anyone eat with so much anger and unhappiness. I had a prompting in my spirit to chat her up and because it’s my passion to talk to young adults, I started a chat with her but cautiously because I didn’t even think she was going to grant me an audience with that angry air about her.
But surprisingly immediately after I said hi, she broke out in smiles and responded quickly like someone starved for attention. So I engaged her and discovered she was a university undergraduate in unilag with no ‘Val’ and had decided to give herself a post valentine’s treat. I started telling her about the gift of singleness. And right before me she started transforming, radiating beauty I hadn’t noticed earlier, she became full of life & big smiles, kept nodding in affirmation as my husband, who had joined us, and I was telling her this stuff. It’s obvious she needed to hear that she shouldn’t need anyone’s company or validation to enjoy her life or her pizza for that matter.
God created man as male & female singly and called these creations VERY good, the zenith of His works and excellency of His power. So being single is very good. To be single is to be whole and complete. Singleness is not a deficiency as some would want to believe, being separate and alone isn’t the same as being lonely and feeling unwanted. Adam wasn’t a lonely chap looking for Love, he was complete in himself, actively engaged in his pursuit of purpose and achievement of greatness before God observed that he needed help with his enormous task.
Singleness is a precious gift to be maximized. It is the period of self-discovery & development, finding life’s purpose, and active engagement in achievement. It is a period of redeeming the time. The gifts of singleness are enormous such as time, energy, separation, and resources. But it’s unfortunate that some believe singleness is a curse and a burden, ah ask the married o. Yes, it’s beautiful to be married but if you found yourself married while leaving undone certain things you should have achieved as a single, you will struggle all through marriage to get them done because your time and resources are not yours alone and if care is not taken, you might never be able to achieve them again.
If you also didn’t discover yourself, as a single before venturing into marriage and so you always need someone else to validate you, your marriage might end up being dysfunctional because healthy marriage is between two secured, completely whole, and purpose-driven individuals coming together for companionship and to harness forces to achieve much more. It’s not for unsecured individuals looking for who would complete and validate them, no. Please my dear single, there is no timetable for a relationship or marriage (my opinion) so my advice is to never allow society or anyone put undue pressure on you. We told the young adult “You’re in a very good place, get to know YOU, enjoy being with YOU, love YOU absolutely and completely, validate YOU, develop YOU, explore all YOUr gifting & talents, date YOU, be YOUr lover, treat YOUrself right, respect YOU. Become the ONE. If you don’t love yourself first, you can’t truly love anyone else. Be YOUr number 1 valentine and see yourself attracting another healthy and secured human as yourself in His time.
